Marja Nebula

The Tantric Dakini

 

Long time no writing! I thought that an artistic pause was suiting after the last blog post. To let it sink a while. Some people were like «noone sells sex without experiencing some kind of trauma first, I knew it!» and some people were like «this kinda supports people’s belief that all people who sells sex is in some kind of bad situation in life»... and there is unfortunatley alot of truth in that. Most people who take part in the «dark side» of society often have experienced trauma, or come from troubled families.. But who sais that everything you decide to do after trauma is bad for you just because people without trauma or with other kind of trauma don’t understand it? And who decides what «the dark side» or «outside» of society is anyways? Drugs and sex work are assosieted to something that is bad, and ending up in one or both of these indutries automatically make you a part of a criminal culture. Aka «the dark side». I believe that sex is natural and drugs are medicine. The problem is not the industries, but the fact that people who comes from stabile families without trauma get to decide that they are living the right way, and if we don’t live like them we need to be punished. Before trauma I was spending my days working my ass off, then parties after work, spending all the money I worked my ass off for on alcohol... no travelling, no time for soul dancing, no time for meditation, no time for writing. No INSPIRATION. No creativity. No real life energy. Just work, money, drink, cry myself to sleep, anxiety attacks, waking up wanting to die. But I did have a beautiful smile and had great friends and it was alot of love then too.. but life was a trauma itself, and I didn’t realize it because I was «SO NORMAL». I was hanging out with other people who were really depressed, and allowed myself to hate on people who lived the way I wanted to live instead of opening myself up to them and letting them inspire me with their wisdom on how to be like them. Free, adventurous and groundbreaking! That was what I wanted to be. I couldn’t say «I AM SO HAPPY WITH MYSELF AND MY LIFE», because that would have been a really huge lie. Trying to fit in with the «normal» squad, I was living out «the dark side»- life without realizing it. As a number 5 life path vibration (some numerology for y’all) my life is all about freedom, change and independancy. Sex work is my work, and in many ways my way of healing. It makes me happy and excited about life. I see the need for sex work in society and I experience the huge demand from men especially. I believe that more men should be part of the industry to provide pleasure for women, but everyone providing pleasure for women need to be educated better (because human kind in general know more about the male genitals and how to pleasure men more than we know about the female genitals and how to pleasure women). Also I have had a huge emotional lump in my solar plexus and larynx because of empathy for people who are held captive and used as sex slaves.. human trafficking have always been my number one anger trigger. It makes me want to Kill. If I had experienced a different trauma I might have become a serial killer of people who take advantage of trafficked people. But how the fuck do we find them?!? Maybe by tracking them down when they are stupid enough to use escort sites and craigs list?!? Good idea right?! But you know what?!? FOSTA/SESTA makes it IMPOSSIBLE to find them motherfuckers because they don’t make a difference between sew work and sex slaves, sex buyers and abusers, helping angels and pimps. In the eyes of «the normal» it is all the same. I understand that if I want to fight against human trafficking as a one woman army, the most important thing I can do is to provide the service that these people are forced to do, and report the ones who show signs of being abusive. Also I get to have alot of sex without neccessarily having penis penetrating my vagina, I feel alot more comfortable telling my clients how to «do me right» than when I’m having sex with a partner that I have feelings for (I don’t want to tell them I want them to pay attention to me and read my body language like I read them!!) I get to communicate about boundaries which I think is a very important part of my job as a sex worker. I get to be in charge (mostly since I am a domina) and best of all I get to decide who I want to share my energy with, wich is not possible for alot of service providers who work under another human. And I get well paid so I can focus on all the other things I love to do without stressing about making it my profession. I can truthfully say that I LOVE MYSELF AND MY LIFE 🙏🏽 Now over to something completely different. The art exhibition in Stockholm on the international womens day. It.was.so.great!! What a success! Many people came and they were interested in our world, open minded and curious and supportive. Myra held an incredible speach that I will post here soon. And I got a new tattoo also ❤️ I brought with me two friends who got so inspired by the energy and had a spontaneous contact impro preformance wich was very beautiful. PION wants to arrange an art exhibition of the same nature (sex workers creations) in Oslo 2nd or 3rd of June (on the international sex workers day) so stay tuned my loves and I will let you know where it will take place and when. I will be giving free hand (massage) jobs on the vernissage so you get to feel my touch and have a 101 chat with me if you’d like :) donations are welcomed.

A taste of my participation for the exhibition. Nine illustrations of «The Whore» representing the numbers 1-9. On the table there is a 9-faced dice and the meaning of each number. Numbers are the language of the universe and the answer to everything we want to know lies within them. The illustrations will be made to cards which can be used as tarots and I will make a small book with a description of each illustration. If enough people are interested in supporting me I will make a package with cards, book and a 9-faced dice. You will find a «how-to-use» description in the book :)



Tale holdt av svenske skribent Myra, for sexarbeidernes rett til selvbestemmelse på kvinnedagen. Kan leses her:
http://myrannosaurus.se/8emars2019/